While doing my routine for the day, I got an e-mail from someone who uses the name of my most-esteemed hero, Andres Bonifacio, highlighting the alleged irregularities of a certain Canadian-owned, US-headquartered, Cebu-based publishing services provider.
I am not one to dwell on anything negative–yep, that’s my mantra so if you’ll be seeing that hereabouts more often, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I have had my share of really painful memories while working in my former company but the thing is, we were given choices, to leave and be free from all the migraine-inducing chaos, or to stay and bear what the hazards of earning an average of fifty grand (err, in pesos) MONTHLY there are. I chose to leave. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but I had to do it because it was a matter of principle. I turned a deaf ear on the office politics and the in-house grapevine because I didn’t want those to get in the way of my work. But people can be really vicious. I think I have gotten used to that now. And so I left. I suffered financially and emotionally because of it. For months! And the rumors didn’t help. Wolves in friends’ clothing devoured me like there’s no tomorrow. But what I suffered in silence while I was in the company was far worse so I continued to keep mum. People who knew me then would never believe I kept mum.
But hey, two years after, I’m still here and I’m happier so I guess I made the right choice. There are times when I still wish I was still there. Because for someone who has become so disillusioned with the corporate world, I still genuinely believe in my former CEO’s vision. True there were err–not-so-regular breach of protocols but I’m in no position to really judge anything that I’m not privy to. If this happened 6-10 years ago, I would have been in the streets with my comrades. But you come to a certain point in your life when you just want to be selfish for a while. After all, you deserve it–I deserve it.
I feel for my former colleagues. I feel for those whose career paths have been largely realigned. I feel for those who got hospitalized because of the depression that movements in the company caused them but I will never ever malign people who have been once a huge part of my life–not even if they malign me first. I’m not exactly a devout Catholic so yeah, I believe in cosmic justice. In time, I too, will have my sweet retribution. In the meantime, I will just sleep.