People who know me would never associate the word SHY with me. Never. Unbeknownst to the whole wide world, I am. That is why I prefer staying at home and lurking in my room when we have guests in the house, which is rare, thank God! But when I’m (t)asked to do something that involves organizing people, party or leading the carpenters and plumbers, I deliver. Close my eyes for a bit, take a deep breath and plunge in. But that’s all there is to it. I’m more flirty and teasing when I’m online or when I’m writing, etc. But never in front of people I barely know–unless I’m with friends and feelin’ a little cheeky. A few glasses of Black Russian or Gin Tonic or good old whisky would probably do the trick.
And so, I bellydance when everyone is asleep. I roll for-chill shirt up for a makeshift choli. Take off my slippers. Put on my bellydance video for the day. Do my warm-up routine. And then shimmy!
I’m in a hurry to lose weight! Really! All my life I thought I was fat. Everybody in grade school said so. That was because I developed my curves (ok, you can roll your eyes!) pretty early. I am an early bloomer. It wasn’t until I developed polycystic ovaries in college that the scales tipped in favor of more pounds. By then, I was used to being told I was fat. So I never did anything because I never thought I really was!
I always jokingly blame my mom for it. Because when people started to tell me I was putting in more pounds, she used to say, oh, you look just great–apparently, most mothers say that even to their ugliest kids, not because they’re pathological liars but because in the eyes of mothers, their spawn always look great–well, for most mothers, that is. And when she finally said, Oi, day, murag midako na gyud ka–it was already too late.
That was around 7-8 years ago. I lost and gained weight between then and now. On my 26th birthday, I got the biggest scary surprise of my life. You see, I almost never weigh myself. People, you should! Buy a bathroom scale so you can monitor your weight every day. And so when I weighed my voluptuous heap on my birthday, I cried. I was a few pounds shy of 200lbs. I never knew I was THAT FAT! You see, despite being on the heavy side, I don’t sag. My huge face doesn’t help but my body is not oak-barrel-shaped. I can say it is still a Coca-Cola body–litro lang. But I was really scared that day. Since then, I vowed to seriously lose weight.
I’m an emotional eater–I eat when I’m happy, sad, depressed and angry.
I never liked going to the gym–why? I felt like a hippo in the midst of gazelles, ok, beefed up wildebeest. LOL. When I was in UP, I brisk-walked–never jogged because my breasts weigh a ton!– around the Acad Oval every night and went to the gym thrice a week. My calves, biceps and triceps had their 15-minute fame then. But when I was on my thesis months, it was all research, cigarettes, regular munchies, coffee and all that. And so whatever I lost over the past year, I gained in just a few weeks.
Then I moved to Pagadian City to help out in my uncle’s law office cum board member’s office. I was losing weight. And then I taught in a local college there. I was looking great. Then came the move to Cebu. I went from medium to extra large then to double extra large. I worked in the corporate world in a very sedentary position where nightcaps/morningcaps meant coffee at Starbucks or meals at Vienna Kaffehaus or East West. Weekends meant all-day and all-night in bed. My love affair with ukay-ukay blossomed–I couldn’t find huge sizes in the department stores and I didn’t want to wear men’s clothes! And the rest is history.
I got out of a life-draining-over-five-year relationship in March. It has taken me forever to get over it–I still am. I told you I eat when I’m depressed. So instead of losing more pounds on my 27th birthday, I only weighed 30lbs lighter than the previous birthday. But I was already slowly getting back on my feet then.
Now, I’m back to bellydancing. It’s amazing how something so easy could help burn fat fast. A few minutes into the warm up makes me sweat like a pig already. But one good thing about bellydancing is that it gives you that feel-good-about-yourself air. It gave me back my self-esteem and pride. Bellydancing reintroduces your body to you, section by section, and as Carmen Electra said in her Aerobic Striptease video, vertebrae by vertebrae. Bellydancing makes you feel sexier and more sensual. But looking sexier and more sensual isn’t bad.
I also do striptease. I plan to get into pole dancing when I hit my ideal weight. For now, it’s bellydance and striptease for me. There’s a lot of videos out there that are really helpful. Mind you, don’t get those instructional videos by Filipino sexy stars. They are not helpful at all, unless you have a dancing background, otherwise, you’ll get lost. Most of these pseudo-dance instructors forget that they’re supposed to teach you the steps and not show you their heaving bosoms! I’m not into female bosoms! Now if it’s a guy, I wouldn’t have minded. Now, that’s a thought. I wonder when a male bellydance instructor would surface and come up with an instructional video. I swear I’ll lose more than 10lbs overnight! LOL. Seriously, I recommend the bellydance workout series by the Bidasha twins–Veena and Neena (Hi, I’m Neena and I’m Veena, welcome to Beyond Basic Bellydance. LOL). And for aerobic striptease, grab Carmen Electra’s set. Although I don’t really find discs 3 (advanced aerobic striptease–it only teaches two very short routines that could have been integrated into disc 1, the librarian striptease and the girl wearing a man’s shirt and tie) and 4 (the lapdance) that helpful as workout vids but well, they do help you learn a few steps that you can use somewhere else. *wink*
So grab those hip scarves and do hip isolations with me. Aww right!