I’m into dogs now. LOL. Not that, you green-minded moron! But really, my sister just gave me two ordogs (ordinary dogs, I don’t like the word mongrel coz it sounds too snobbish). Or should I say, orpups! LOL.
So now, feeding, playing and potty training my new pets keep me all the more occupied. So when I was searching for an old e-mail that I got a few years ago in my Gmail (that’s Gmail for you, folks, fast, reliable and very helpful), I found this funny forwarded message.
Top Ten Dog Peeves About Humans
10. Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all!!!
9. Yelling at me for barking.. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!
8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!
6. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.
5. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
4. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
3. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
2. Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven’t you noticed the fur?
1. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous.
In a rerun of one of the old episodes of Seinfeld, Jerry talked about people who walk their dogs while holding a litter bag. He delivered his opening with a look of total disgust. LOL. He said that if people were supposed to be the masters of the dogs, picking their poop up tells an entirely different story. I remembered it this morning while I was cleaning up the area where my pups do their stuff. Was laughing to myself at 6 in the morning. My mom gave me that look that tells me she thinks I lost it again so early! But really, it makes you wonder…