Black and White

I am not pro-GMA. 

If it’s the TV station we’re talking about, then I’d say I am without batting an eyelash, which is impossible by the way because you can’t just bat ONE eyelash!  But really, I am not the president’s die-hard fan.  Let’s just say that I am for this country.  But I won’t claim expertise on what’s best for this country as so many people have already been holding the megaphone.  I guess my time with the mob is over.  I want to grow old real fast but I don’t think I’m getting that old yet so my hiatus is perhaps just that—a hiatus. 

Where does the right begin and where does wrong end?  Does the world really have to be just a choice between black and white?  I am trying  to stifle another bored yawn over what’s going on in our country.  As much as I hate to admit it, I guess I have become someone that I used to hate big time—apathetic.  Not pathetic, you dumbarse.  Well, perhaps partly. 

But really, I’m confused.  This country is so used to corruption.  Since time immemorial, politicians have stolen from us.  And no we don’t have the monopoly of a graft and corruption-infested soil.  Other places have it too.  And so people like me is no longer a rarity.  So there’s a new scandal, what’s new with it?  People steal anyway.  My mantra has become, he/she who steals the least without totally crippling the country is least despicable of the all.  It’s hard to tell, really.  So when it’s hard to tell, I try to just pick whoever’s in power so long as he/she’s not THAT stupid regardless of height or mole size. 

My next confusion steams from the size of the loot.  Ok.  So everybody steals.  Who steals the least is the lesser evil and so that’s the way it should be.  Yeah, so it’s ok to steal so long as it’s not as big as what others steal.  It’s ok to make mistakes so long as they’re not as bad as the ones the other guy made.  This has become our standards and in this grueling world, we can’t really blame people.  Sometimes, we just have to be happy with our small feats.  Yeah it’s not right.  But beggars can’t be choosers.  No one can afford to be choosy.  Yeah it helps to save some dignity inside and maintain ones moral standards but then again, who set those standards in the first place?  Tune in the the radio or turn that TV volume up.  That’s not what’s happening.  People have been hurling accusations against one another as if their lives, and not their political agenda, depended on it. He/she who sinneth not cast the first stone.  My god!  I’ve never seen this many hypocrites in my lifetime!  JDV has been going at it like the fly to the poop!  Is it just me or is eternal damnation really just around the bend?  What with wolves in sheep’s clothing parading here and there like there’s a huge offering coming up I’d be surprised if all of a sudden I’ll see the scene where Moses excitedly came down from the mountain with the tablets of ten commandments in his hand only to find his shenanigans of relatives worshipping an idol! The audacity of people to use the name of God to bring their cases to the streets!  And who are these prophets who act like they have never sinned or partaken of anything that came from under the table!

I am indeed very confused.  And what’s making it worse is the gripping feeling that has been eating me all this time.  I am scared.  I am so scared for this country that I fear waking up the following morning because it might be the day of the great catharsis and it may not be what we all want to see.  I am young by world’s standards and because I am so, I don’t want to spoil the fun by watching it just slip away when I have not yet filled the half-full glass in my hand. 

Will this end?  Will blood flow?  Will people die?  Will I die?  Who is telling the truth?  And how do we measure truth nowadays?  Is it something that our gut tells us?  Or has the standards change?  Is it signified by tears and melodrama?  If I knew the answers, I’d be able to sleep well.  And I’ll stop worrying about tomorrow. 

Tomorrow’s just another day.  Today’s a gift.  That’s why it’s called the present.  But I don’t want to get any more gifts if it’s just like this.  I want to have tomorrow.  But somehow that petrifies me more.

So what now…