Big Girl Panties

19 02 2012

I’m a strong person who takes the upper hand unknowingly just like that.  The romantic in me longs for a partner who can make me go weak in the knees and bow down.  A huge part of me just wants to submit to somebody who will take the wheel and drive.

I found one such person.  But I guess she has too many issues to even bother with my needs because hers outweigh mine.  She doesn’t believe it but I’ve always put hers in front of mine for as long as I could.  Epic fail for the most part but I’ve always tried.

I have a huge platter of issues myself.  But because I talk the loudest and kick the hardest, I seem to be the stronger of the two of us.  Sometimes, I feel like having a gentle touch or a soft whisper are not parts of my genetic makeup.

I am rough and harsh.  I can hurt people at the slightest turn.  But I’m also overly sensitive so it doesn’t really make sense.

I know I had to move on and long for someone to come along for whom I don’t have to cut my talons because she can already take care of herself.  But then again you don’t really want to hurt the one that you love and even if unintentionally you just do, you still wish you can control it.

So I guess I should just be alone.

And I hate the sound of that but sometimes, you just take it.  Big girl panties and all.




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