The past few weeks have been life-draining to say the least. I quit smoking at a time when things were going from miserable to completely unbearable. Not really a good time to give up an addiction that led me to believe it helped me de-stress. But I had to because it was a symbolic gesture—doing something extremely difficult but for the ultimate good not just for the people around me but for myself.
But typical of me, not even my inner circle could really see my pain in actuality. Surprising maybe to people who have seen bare my deepest and darkest of emotions but not to those who are not exposed to those. To them, I was just going through a challenging time but was handling it quite well. To some degree, I was. But deep inside, a bloody heart and torn spirit are struggling to keep everything together.
It is time to come out of a slump and I recognize that. Despite the heartbreak and the daily humdrum at the workplace, life has been really good to me. Things still get done and the sun still rises in the east. I have lost some weight and have dropped 2 sizes. I am in good shape and getting better each day. It is embarrassing to continue moping when the world has moved forward and has even showered me with more blessings than what I thought I deserved.
It is time to appreciate what has been there before me all along, learn from my mistakes, get my groove back, and let nature take its course.