#12 Spells Bull’s Eye

11 10 2013

Reposting this from Marc and Angel Hack Life.  

It’s easy to make your relationships more complicated than they are.  Here are twelve simple reminders to help you keep them on course.

  1. All successful relationships require some work. – They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves.  They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts.  Open communication and honesty is the key. 
  2. Most of the time you get what you put in. – If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding.  It’s a simple practice that works.
  3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. – Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you.
  4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. – Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you; but most importantly some will bring out the best in you.  Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.
  5. We all change, and that’s okay. – Our needs change with time.  When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing.  Sometimes itjust means you stopped living your life their way.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.
  6. You are in full control of your own happiness. – If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different.  Nobody else in this world can make you happy.  It’s something you have to do on your own.  And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else.  If you feel that it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing.  Your partner can never ‘complete’ you because you are already whole.  The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are. 
  7. Forgiving others helps YOU. – Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
  8. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. – Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.  If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.
  9. Heated arguments are a waste of time. – The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.  And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you.  Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.  
  10. You are better off without some people. – When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.
  11. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.  Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection.  Remember, making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Your kindness and gratitude matters.
  12. Even the best relationships don’t last forever. – People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  And remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
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175

6 10 2013

Today marks the 175th day since I last held your hand.  Not a day passes when I do not count the ticking of the clock.  But I have made progress.  It’s been over 2 weeks since I last gazed at your Facebook profile picture.  There’s hope for me after all.  

In time, even when my heart protests, I will get over you.  I will. 

But tonight, I remember what seems like just yesterday.  And my heart sheds torrents.





Coming Out of a Slump

2 10 2013

The past few weeks have been life-draining to say the least.  I quit smoking at a time when things were going from miserable to completely unbearable.  Not really a good time to give up an addiction that led me to believe it helped me de-stress.  But I had to because it was a symbolic gesture—doing something extremely difficult but for the ultimate good not just for the people around me but for myself.  

But typical of me, not even my inner circle could really see my pain in actuality.  Surprising maybe to people who have seen bare my deepest and darkest of emotions but not to those who are not exposed to those.  To them, I was just going through a challenging time but was handling it quite well.  To some degree, I was.  But deep inside, a bloody heart and torn spirit are struggling to keep everything together.  

It is time to come out of a slump and I recognize that.  Despite the heartbreak and the daily humdrum at the workplace, life has been really good to me.  Things still get done and the sun still rises in the east.  I have lost some weight and have dropped 2 sizes.  I am in good shape and getting better each day.  It is embarrassing to continue moping when the world has moved forward and has even showered me with more blessings than what I thought I deserved. 

It is time to appreciate what has been there before me all along, learn from my mistakes, get my groove back, and let nature take its course. 





I Just Can’t

25 09 2013

It is heartbreaking.  An understatement.
You just don’t know how painful it is to be loved by somebody who refuses to make me a real part of her life. Because you have never been rejected the way you have rejected me over and over again.  Because I asked for more.

I miss you.  It is a major struggle not to reach out to you.
Every day, I look at our WhatsApp exchange and look at you.  You log in every now and then.
But never to talk to me anymore.  And it always breaks my heart a little more each time.





This Time Last Year

24 09 2013

I just woke up and proceeded to spend the day online with my girl.  

I remember wearing the orange top she gave and holding the chocolate cake I got for her a full 12 hours earlier.  Close to 8,000 miles apart but celebrating one special day together.  

Today was a little bit different.  I started the day earlier than usual so I could drop by the church, light a candle, and whisper a prayer for her.  Went to work afterwards and sobbed when a friend mentioned her name.  

Here’s hoping for a better year for her.  Here’s to new beginnings and new dreams.  Here’s to grasping the truth and knowing what we really want in life.  

I know what I want but I have come to accept that not everything we want, we get.





9/11

11 09 2013

It was one lazy evening spent drinking with friends.  TV was just playing in the background.   All of a sudden, CNN flashed some breaking news about one airplane crashing into one of the World Trade Center towers. And then another one crashed into the other tower.  Whatever degree of drunkenness I had that evening dissipated as I sat down transfixed on the TV.

Devastated was an understatement of how I felt.

2,996 deaths.

Have we become so enamored with power that we could easily kill another just to keep it?  Can we no longer take not being agreed with? Have we become so desensitized that another person’s life to us no longer carries as much value?

It’s been 12 years today but we are in no way closer to achieving peace than we were back then.  I am not in the US but remembering the events that unfolded from that day on still breaks my heart.  I am in the Philippines where war has lost its novelty.  I hail from the south where bombs explode and it only makes the local news.  It is sad that our wars are mostly internal.  Today, people in Zamboanga City fear for tomorrow.  At any given time,  someone could die and it could them. For what? Brothers fighting brothers for reasons all feudal but dressed differently.  Does it justify anything?

No.

As nothing makes sense to me and as hope changed its name to chance, I can only whisper a prayer to my God.  Let there be peace on Earth.  And let it indeed begin with me.





Sasha… I Miss You.

16 11 2012

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” 
― Josh Billings

My dog died today.  I’m not even sure what she died of.  
All I know is that the pain of losing her is so piercing.  
It sears the deepest part of me, I can’t explain.
I never thought I’d feel this much pain. 

Now, no one loves me more than she loves herself.  And that’s a major loss.  😦

So today, I was thankful for the distraction that work afforded me.  
Now that I’m alone again, a floodgate of uncontrollable tears is my only refuge.

I miss her.  I didn’t even get to see her when I went home.