Ang Kabayo, Bow.

Bloghopping afforded me a good laugh after reading 80s Fevah by one pretty girl.  Hehe.  I remember one time (at bandcamp!) when one of my friends came home from one of her “rounds” fuming mad.  Hehehe. 

You see, my friend’s a vet and she used to work for one of the biggest feed mill in Cebu as a technical sales agent.  So in one of her visits to a prospect’s farm, she offered their products to the owner.  The man said, “Unya na lang, day, kay wa pa man akong kabayo. [Later.  Because my horse isn’t here yet]” 

My friend, a Chavacana, speaks fluent Cebuano but there’s a certain limit to your grasp of the wit and funny juices of the language if you’re not a native speaker.  Having come from a true-blue bisdak family, I was already laughing at this point. 

So she went on with her story.

She wondered what the kabayo had to do with it when she was specifically offering hog feeds and meds.  Thinking that the old man just misunderstood her, she went on to tell him the merits of their products and all that. 

Then the man said, “Di gyud ko kadesidir dayon anang mga butanga day kay nangompra pa man gud akong kabayo.  Tua pas merkado. [I really can’t decide on those things right now because my horse is still in the market, buying stuff.]”  At this point, I could no longer contain my laughter. 

All the more confused (yep, she can be really slow when it comes to Cebuano jokes, even the blatantly obvious ones, smart as she is), she asked, “Nangompra imong kabayo, Nong?  Unsa man diay na imong kabayo? [Your horse went out to buy things, sir?  What kind of horse do you have?]”

The man broke into what can only be described as a guffaw and told her straight in the face, “Ay, kabayo gud, akong asawa ba!  Para unsa man diay nang asawa, di ba para kabay-an? [Oh, horse: my wife!  What are wives for?  They’re for “horseback riding”, aren’t they?]”

As I said in my comment in 80s Fevah, I know that not all old men from the glorious past are male chauvenists.  They just have a way with words, Cebuano words.  My lolo, when he was still alive, punctuated his impassioned exchanges with his friends outside their rice mill in Molave with phrases like otin sa kabayo (horse’s penis), bilat s’yang nanay (the other person’s mom’s vagina) and some Spanish curses.  My father curses really bad too.  One thing about Cebuanos in Mindanao though, when we curse, it’s because we’re really outraged at something.  For those who are native Cebuanos–those who hail from and are in Cebu–they can mix cuss words with normal, toned-down conversations, the way Manileños say putcha or the original phrase itself, without meaning anything harsh, unless their tone changes. 

This is one of the reasons why I love my language and why it has been elevated to the level of language instead of just that of a dialect by some linguists.  And I’m proud that my father used to be active in LUDABI.  I’m not really sure if the group still exists but I wish a not-so-elitist Cebuano-speaking group would surface.  I mean, I know groups that read and write Cebuano poetry and host sessions that usually lead to serious gastronomic indulgence but sometimes, they tend to give me the impression of haughtiness–yeah, I’m a great Cebuano artist, now, who are you?  I’m sure it’s just my impression but still…

Going back to the horse, my landlady’s almost90something dad came home from the US, and saw one of our former housemates chatting with a foreigner using the common computer in the main house’s living room.  He then asked, “Unya, day, magminyo sad mo ana?  Ganahan na ka mahimong kabayo? [So, are you getting married with that? You want to become a horse?]”

My landlady, who was just a few inches away, almost fell off her chair.  Red-faced she said, Papa oi!

Albeit a joke, it will never be an acceptable term for wives nowadays.  Yeah, the men then didn’t really mean anything seriously wrong with the connotation but it’s also sad.  They only know of one position.  LOL.

So that, my friends is my story of the horse.  Bow.

Say Teeeeth!

I’m proud to say that I never had to wear braces, retainers or even dentures.   

Well, I might have to wear dentures eventually but I have a well-shaped and healthy set of teeth.  I had to undergo two dental surgeries for two impacted third molars–the other one was in the upper set!  Gosh! The agony of it!  I still have two more that need to be “excavated” and pulled out–hello Dalacin and Mesulid!  I miss you two! The first two were literally excavated.  Extracted would be too mild a word for what was done to my wild teeth–my dentist told me one was even deformed and looked like the tree near Hogwarts.   I had an RCT (Root Canal Treatment/Therapy) for one of my second molars because I love my teeth and I don’t like losing them–um, I don’t believe in euthanasia when it comes to my chewers. 

Anyway, I think the RCT will have to be redone because I have a bad feeling that it wasn’t done that well.  What can I say, I was a poor student in Metro Manila and the best cheap ortho that I could find was that lady dentist somewhere near UP-PGH because I didn’t have the patience to wait in line for PGH dentists–believe me, at 7 in the morning, the lines are already a mile-long! The dentists in the Diliman infirmary do not do RCTs there and they charge sky-high in their private clinics.  Hello, Manila rates? Besides, it was done over five years ago.  It’s about time the time capsule gets out of the earth.  LOL.  

I’m sure not so many people even know about RCT or what it is or what impacted third molars are because for most patients, the answer to an aching tooth is an extraction, and the only time to visit a dentist is when the tooth hurts real bad and a thread can’t do the trick. 

I thought about writing about my teeth issues and of those people that I know because of this blog entry.  I remember my landlady in Cebu who perennially gets mouth sores and lesions because of her cheeck teeth.  I learned about the relation of misaligned cheek teeth from my dentist and I asked my landlady if that was the cause of her constant mouth probs.  And after over four years of my stay in that place, I learned that her problem could have been solved easily had she done what her dentist told year over 20 years ago but it’s too expensive so what she has chosen to do is just apply that cream that she gets from her dentist anyway.    

We Filipinos have a way of taking care about ourselves–I should know.  I refuse to quit smoking–well, not until I’m 30 and I still have 3 more years.  😀  You know how we Filipinos are?  Remember the expression, malayo sa bituka? And our penchant for disregarding any discomfort–basta makatindog pa, ok pa na! 

No wonder Dentistry has become a not-so-lucrative field nowadays, especially in this part of the world.  But then again it all boils down to our country’s culture and economy.  You see, foreigners, ok, let’s take Americans for example.  I don’t want to generalize because I only base this to six Americans that I personally (meaning I have really seen in person, people! Being an online goddess, I have to make that clear.  :D) know although all of them agree on one thing–I am weird because I bring a toothbrush to work so I can brush my teeth after lunch.  They don’t.  Yeah, brushing twice a day is ok.  But for them six, once a day will do.  Two is also fine but three?  Excessive.

The thing is, they can afford to be carefree about it.  Going to the dentist isn’t really as traumatic for them as it was for most of us.  Traumatic being, painful, expensive and expensive and expensive.  Most foreign countries have really good medical, inclusive of dental, coverage so when they get hurt, they don’t have to worry that much.  If you’ve seen Sicko, you’ll think what I’m saying is bull.  But if you compare their medical benefits to ours, you’ll agree with me when I say that theirs is almost heaven.  My take here, this problem is more of economical than cultural.  That’s why it’s really sad

Besides, no offense to the really good dentists in the area, like my new online friend, there aren’t that many good dentists hereabouts.  From where I grew up, I could count with one hand the really well-known dentists when I was in my toddler years.  The first one was a character who must have played a huge part in the childhood years of almost all those who grew up in our town in the 70s and 80s.  I remember laughing to stories about my brother playing tag with the dentist, his assistant, my father and someone else before he was practically held down to the dentist’s chair, which was, by the way, just another office chair.  And then came the cold steel injection…and then the PLIERS!  Ok, I’m exaggerating, as I have comfortably become accustomed to these days, but I know the cold steel injection because I had been to his clinic before.    The first time I had a Pap Smear, I remembered my first trip to the dentist because the feel of that cold steel thing being slowly inserted to me and then slowly twisted–you get the picture!–was really reminiscent of those cold things that they inserted in my mouth when I was but a kid. The second dentist, who happened to be a public school dentist, was anything but sanitary.  Ok–she was DIRTY!  And she became a major figure in urban legends here and there.  Well, I must admit, I judged her by her looks.  Correct me if I’m mistaken but how would you describe someone whose hair was unkempt and smelled like hay examined my teeth while we were standing up because that amazing chair didn’t work anymore?  She was also wearing her farming boots.  And we were standing right by the kitchen door near the sacks of palay were dried.  Tell me, is that sanitary?  And the local grapevine spewed tales of her being into Satanism.  Oh, how the kids feared her!  I think that was sometime between 1987-1990?  I’m not really sure, but the infamous cult gained notoriety around that time with wild rumors linking it to some symbols and products.  But my parents knew that dentist and we were neighbors so we never really believed it.  But still!!! I remember using the thread to pull my teeth after that fateful visit to her “clinic”.  I’d rather do it myself.    There was another one–he was my favorite.  The smell of Johnson’s Band-aid Isopropyl Alcohol reminds me of him because his tools were always clean and he always smelled clean.  I think somehow that triggered the OC in me.  I can’t live without an isopropyl alcohol–nope, ethyl won’t do.  Anyway, years later, he was rumored to be hugely drug dependent–it seemed like something that dentists in our area got hooked into then–and I didn’t wanna take a risk in having my tongue pulled out instead of my teeth.    Good thing I was already about to go to college then. When I was a kid, I told my mom then that I had to see the dentist every six months because I read in one of my textbooks that that’s what should be done!  And since then, I never had any major problems with my teeth.  Except for those force majeure like those stupid wisdom teeth! I still have a few teeth issues that need to be addressed because they MUST be.  I have one molar that has been leaning heavily on one cuspid (I always confuse the cuspids with the bicuspids, doc, unsay tawag sa tapad sa first molar nga di second molar?  hehe).  Because of this, my gum hurts every now and then because everytime I chew, the leaning bully tooth pounds on the hapless leaned on tooth.  And of course, there are still two more wisdom teeth that need to be removed. God!  I was born with four crazy not-so-wise teeth!  I mean, what wise tooth would want to grow inwards when all the rest grew outwards!  And to think they’re the last to really grow! You’d think they’ve learned from those that came out before them! Jeez! Now I remember my niece.  My sister has overdone the dental care of her kids.  I’m not sure what happened but because my niece’s milk teeth were still there when the permanent teeth were supposed to take centerstage, they had to do major milk teeth removal or whatever they’re called.  Sigh! I remember pushing my gums with my tongue and massaging them with that ultra-powerful muscle, because my mom told me so.  I don’t know where she got it or if it had any medical basis but I think that’s the reason why I never had any sungki or even misaligned teeth.    But I’m still eyeing Zoom because I smoke big time and my dentist always curses me behind his mask everytime he cleans my teeth because of those stains.  He said using Zoom would not be practical if I don’t quit smoking.  So what’s the verdict?  Hmmm…But as they always say, prevention is better than cure and if you have second thoughts about seeing your dentist anytime soon, think of the last time that you had a toothache and how it ruined not just your meal but your whole day.  Now, think again.  

Where I Belong

I was born to be a GMA fan. 

When I was a toddler, we didn’t have a TV set and so I grew up listening to those after-dinner drama over the radio.  Yep, we huddled over the radio just to listen to those heart-pounding thrillers and tearjerkers. 

A major turning point in my life was when one of my father’s sinunod sa kasal rented our kamalig and later on bought a part of our lot and built a house there.  TV then became a part of my life.  My sisters and I would then go to our new neighbor’s place and watch TV, not with our not-so-pretty noses pressed against the window pane but in their living room!!! Talk about being jologs.  Hehehe.  I’m a certified jologs, everyone!  My father always told us that we were poor in the hopes that we would never want anything that we didn’t really need and I guess that has instilled the values of money and gratitude in us.  And having been consistent with that, he never bought a TV set.  But because he allowed us to go to our neighbor’s place, I became die-hard That’s Entertainment, Mother Studio Presents, Regal Shocker, Probe Team and what-have-you fan.  Well, blame it on having two older sisters (I was five, they were then 17 and 21–you get the picture) who were into uberteenybopper stuff.  God, now that I think about it!  Ugh! 

When we finally got our black and white TV set (huhuhu!) way back 1988, we practically treated GMA like CNN–well, there was no cable TV in Molave then, duh!  So then I relished in Beauty and the Beast (the poetry! and the love story, unforgettable), 21 Jump Street (that TV series where Johnny Depp was a mainstay prior to his phenomenal portrayal as Edward Scissorhands–yes, Johnny and I already knew each other way before he became reeaaalllly famous! He was in A Nightmare on Elm Street but who remembers anybody else there when Englund whose portrayal of Freddy Krueger was unparalleled.), Miami Vice, Mission Impossible (yeah, baby, this is pre-Tom Cruise!!!), and the walang kamatayang Vilma!  Hehe.  Late night viewing meant Regal Shocker, Mother Studio Presents, Probe Team and those awesome TV reportage by the legends. And of course, what perhaps helped swayed Papa’s mind, there was FPJ sa GMA. LOL.

I got to watch Eat Bulaga, then in RPN (or was it IBC?) then in ABS-CBN because my father and I used to eat lunch at my uncle’s place where they were avid Eat Bulaga fans.  I can still remember the show’s perpetual plugs of Dakak.  Then they moved to GMA.  And my evening viewing list added Okay Ka Fairy Ko in.  And yes, I was never allowed to watch TV on schoolnights but I managed to “get a glass of water” and other things that took me to where I could view the TV set without being too obvious.  😀

With the advent of cable television, we succumbed to the changes but for some reason, my heart remained with GMA.  Yes, there were times when I would switch to ABS-CBN every now and then–my course in college taught me to be channel surf to see the various facets of TV programming and all that jazz.  My TV life now includes HBO TV series like the Sex and the City, Sopranos, Rome and many others.  Then came the CSI trio, Prison Break, Law and Order, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives and a whole lot more, including reality TV shows.  LOL.  I’m no couch potato but I “watch” TV while doing my stuff on my laptop or even while sleeping. 

But all throughout my heart remained with GMA.  And I don’t even have to watch TV to remain faithful.  Every now and then I watch ABS-CBN because I don’t like not knowing what some people talk about in small talks, etc.  But never for long.  That’s what flashback/return/recall buttons are for. 

I have worked with people who come from GMA in the course of my college life, and people who have worked in ABS-CBN, and other local networks.  The glow is totally different–not to mention most of them are really nice.  Of course, Maam Cheche Lazaro is something else.  She’s of a dying breed. 

Perhaps when you’re loyal to something you get really biased about it but most of the time, I do try to be objective–like when Probe Team moved out of GMA except Bernadette Sembrano’s disgusting Saksi walkout, when Karen Davila who polished her investigative journalism nails in Brigada Siete crossed over followed by her then boyfriend DJ Sta. Ana who, only a few days back, helped Maki Pulido cover the emotional stepping down of Pres. Estrada.  But much as I tried, I really couldn’t understand Angel Locsin.  What she did is unforgiveable and unacceptable. I won’t even begin to comment on that ingrate. 

While GMA is taking the ratings game by the balls, I can still say that No.1 or not, I’m still a fan.  Not only because GMA refuses to let the masses believe and see formula programming that has been around for as long as my grandparents can remember because it sells.  Not only because the network continues to take innovative steps regardless of whether the viewing public accept them right away.  Not because GMA has chosen to devote more time in coming up with better programming rather than expanding worldwide.  But because in doing what it has been doing all these years, GMA has helped upgrade the mentality of those watching at home.  And for me, that’s the most important.  If there’s one person who truly embodies the thrust of GMA, that’s Michael V.  Look at the man.  He’s successful–career- and family-wise.  He’s funny.  He’s smart.  He’s talented.  He thinks out of the box and he continues to explore unchartered areas in the entertainment industry.  And that is why he stays with the network that shares his advocacy to service to the Filipino people to a higher level. 

And that is why I do too.